By Alliance Communications Coordinator Amy Durr
The new year is the perfect opportunity to lean into change by making what we often think of as resolutions, taking advantage of what psychologists call the “fresh start effect.” “Fresh starts give us permission to begin again,” says Lia Avellino, LCSW. Studies show 41% of Americans set New Year’s resolutions, but a mere 9% actually end up reaching their goals, according to Inc. “The way it seems to work now, setting a New Year’s Resolution is a recipe for defeat,” says Stephen Shapiro. “It has become one of the nation’s most masochistic traditions.”
It doesn’t have to be that way. Success may come down to something as simple as a bit of reframing for yourself, along with reflection. “If you’re thinking of making resolutions this year, consider letting go of the word resolution,” suggests The Well’s Valerie Oula. “Find a way to remind yourself that you want to do this — and that you choose to do this — because you want to feel a certain way, not because you have to or should,” says Oula. “The energy around ‘I have to’ or ‘I should’ is not empowering. It drains our energy.”
Reflect
Begin with thinking about the past year (both the good and the bad) and where you are now. Ask yourself questions:
- Why? Why did I succeed? Why did I fail? (Inc.) Take time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished – the ups and the downs. Don’t focus on whether you failed or succeeded.
- What’s NOT working? (Too Much on her Plate) Make a list of everything you can think of that is creating static in your life. Don’t problem-solve–just make a list. What are you putting up with, making do with, or pretending not to notice? What are the thing, routines, or relationships in your life that disrupt your flow?
- What can I forgive myself for? What shame are you asking to step aside so you can look at the emotions it helped you cover up? (The Well) Letting go often requires some form of forgiveness. This begins with forgiving ourselves,” says Avellino.
- What connections were strengthened this year? What relationships would I like to invest more energy in? (Forbes)
- What do you want to have / accomplish by the end of the year? (Too Much on her Plate) Pick two or three concrete, measurable goals.
- Choose a broad theme rather than specific a measurable goal. (Inc.) Instead of resolutions, choose one or two words to describe your next year. Choose a theme that gets your juices flowing, has you excited, and moves you into action: passion, peace, love, friendship, travel, or self-expression.
- How can I improve my health and well-being, and what is my plan for doing it? (Forbes)
- How can I continue to grow and learn in the new year? (Forbes)