By Alliance for Sustainability Communications Coordinator Amy Durr
There are generations of us who grew up with Fred Rogers and are still deeply influenced by his remarkable modeling of kindness, empathy and acceptance. For 31 seasons his gentle weekday children’s TV show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood confronted the cultural biases and trauma-inducing events that were tearing apart our communities and country. He quieted national strife with his calm voice, curious openness and immoderate honesty: “When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” Divorce, racism, disabilities, war, mental health and death were all encouragingly discussed on a TV show. For young children.
We need Rogers’ purposeful peaceableness in this age of widening partisan divides and polarization (think gender, race and ethnicity, religion, sexuality, education). The majority of Americans agree: Nearly 90% think it’s possible to improve our trust in one another, according to Pew. We agree with RealClearPolitics’ conclusion that Pew’s 9 in 10 believe the answer is “neighborliness.” Fred Rogers’ home state of Pennsylvania set an example by making 143 Day a holiday to celebrate Rogers, kindness and community. We think TIME had a great suggestion to make 143 Day a national holiday.
The Meaning and Relevance of 143
This year Pennsylvania will celebrate the fifth anniversary of its 143 Day holiday. 143 was Rogers’ favorite number, created from the number of letters in the words “I love you.” Rogers used it as a shortcut to remind children that he loved them. It also had meaning in all aspects of his personal life – he maintained a 143-pound body weight for decades, according to TIME.
“I love you” had many meanings for Rogers. His kindness was rooted in his understanding of love, as well as his active listening, affection for children, commitment to justice (social, racial, and economic, to name a few), spirituality and of course his focus on neighborship. “What changes the world? The only thing that ever really changes the world is when somebody gets the idea that love can abound and can be shared,” said Rogers, and he lived that out in laudable ways.
Building Community on Small Offerings of Kindness
Rogers constantly spoke about the significance of connecting with one another: “Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.” While it is a bit hard to define, neighborliness can be understood as a form of social cohesion, a state of being connected and committed to the lives of those around you, according to the Ralph Wilson Park Conservancy.
As one young woman surveyed by Pew suggested, “Get to know your local community. Take small steps towards improving daily life, even if it’s just a trash pick-up. If people feel engaged with their environment and with each other, and they can work together even in a small way, I think that builds a foundation for working together on more weighty issues.”
Recognizing Children’s Personhood and Transforming Television
Oft-mocked sweater-wearing, sneaker-tying, fish-feeding Rogers had a startling secret. The lifelong milquetoast Republican Presbyterian minister was also a courageous science-loving, barrier-breaking, anti-consumerist media wunderkind. While the FCC chairman deemed television a vast wasteland, Rogers saw it as a tool that could help children grow. “Fred Rogers cracked the code to how media could foster authentic conversations and create opportunities for parents and children to bond,” according to PBS.
While some may have called his show simple and naive, Rogers was an amazing innovator who used nuance, subtlety and ratty puppets. He continually integrated the newest psychological research, while emphasizing imagination and teaching children how to handle tough feelings. Rogers featured contemporary musicians and showcased trailblazing science, art and technology – all with a palpable spirit of joy, curiosity and tenderness that children adored.
Even back in 1968 when the show debuted in black and white Rogers was working hard to redefine “educational programming.” Amazingly, during the first five episodes of the brand-new show Fred Rogers, his puppets and the actors spoke about the Vietnam War, fear and feeling unsafe. The show talked about assassination after Robert Kennedy was killed, and about the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster. It was completely unprecedented.
Slowing Culture Down to the Speed of Humans
Roger’s odd coupling of winsomeness and unorthodoxy allowed him to play a key role not only in reimagining children’s television, but in transforming American society. Maxwell King, Rogers’ biographer, told WPSU, “One of the characteristics of Fred Rogers was that he ran counter to what a lot of the expectations were of the time. He worked at a time when television was going faster and faster and faster…Fred was going slower and slower and slower, and was very deliberate in his pacing.” By mainstreaming slowness and emotional intelligence, especially regarding very young children’s feelings, Rogers perhaps single-handedly saved public television.
King continued, “And I think that’s a really important lesson. And it was very important to Fred, that, as the world speeds up, slow down, take time. And particularly he felt, take time for relationships, take time for people, and you have to slow down, he felt, to have the time to be kind and thoughtful and caring.”
“His most important lasting legacy will be in the area of values”
“Certainly his contributions to education are long, long lasting. He is really the person who taught America about early childhood education,” King continued. “But I think his most important lasting legacy will be in the area of values. And I think that’s why he’s so current today…People are looking for his words, for his images as reassurance about those kinds of universal human values that we’re worried about today, that we’re worried about whether they’re becoming fragile in today’s fast paced, harsh environment.”
We Share the Belief in the Life-Changing, World-Shaking Power of Kindness
Rogers’ legacy has always been part of the Alliance for Sustainability’s DNA. One could say we are as committed to kindness as Cookie Monster is committed to cookies, that is to say, very. It’s delightfully refreshing and surprising for many people that we have highlighted this by including kindness as one of the fundamental pillars of our Campaign for Sustainability, Health, Equity and Kindness (S.H.E. Kindness). We feel this is essential because kindness:
- Increases self-esteem, empathy and compassion
- Improves mood
- Decreases blood pressure and the stress-caused hormone cortisol
- Increases your sense of connectivity with others, decreases loneliness and improves relationships
- Encourages others to join in with their own generous deeds, becoming contagious
- Changes your brain by boosting levels of healthy hormones serotonin and dopamine while possibly releasing endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller
143 Day is a Call for Courage and Compassion
143 Day, nationalized or not, is a reminder that regardless of one’s politics or religious affiliation, we can all be inclusive and kind, while also being brave and speaking our truth about controversial things that truly matter. We take this to heart at the Alliance, as we seek to bring about personal and organizational transformation. We know shifting existing systems is not easy, and it takes guts to stick it out. That’s why we‘re embracing a new holiday to acknowledge and celebrate Rogers’ gift, a gift for us all to embody.
We feel the celebration of 143 Day doesn’t have to be a typical holiday with time off to celebrate with family and friends. Maybe it’s a day to be in our workplaces, schools and communities in a way that honors his legacy, co-creating the kind of world we want to live in. Maybe it’s a simple, non-consumerized, non-politicized day of self-reflection, meeting and appreciating co-workers and neighbors, practicing kindness and courageously breaking barriers.
Not the End – Just the Beginning
As Fred Rogers challenged, “Let’s take the gauntlet and make goodness attractive in this so-called next millennium…That’s the real job that we have. I’m not talking about Pollyanna-ish kind of stuff. I’m talking about down-to-earth, actual goodness. People caring for each other in a myriad of ways.”
We’ve come a long way, but Rogers continues to remind us we can do so much better. He taught us that “Love is at the root of everything. All learning, all parenting, all relationships. Love, or the lack of it.” Where are the Mister Rogers of today? We need to become them – the safe parents, the helpers, the brave innovators and the people who commit to being good neighbors.