I, We: Ben Bingham Contemplates Pronouns and Global Love

By Communications Coordinator Amy Durr

It’s not often that we get to have a corporate financial CEO write excellent, provocative and compassionate poetry. But that’s what 3Sisters Sustainable Management CEO Ben Bingham has done. He’s taking on a really charged topic that has divided much of America: what pronouns do we use to refer to ourselves?

One side says we should stick to the conventional he/him she/her. The other side feels it’s essential to have available gender neutral language, as it enables us to recognize the ways people see themselves. Sadly, this has become a polarizing wedge political issue.

Ben Bingham is seeking to offer a new alternative in this poem in which we all have a choice of being our name or I/We. I feel this is an important and thought-provoking approach to seeing how we all can come together and be kinder and more respectful with each other. I’ll look forward to hearing what you think.

My Own Thoughts

It always surprises me that pronouns are an issue for people, that pronouns are “too woke” to be considered. It’s upsetting that people can’t choose to express their own identities.

As the mother of a trans child I’ve watched my child blossom as they’ve come into their true identity, and it’s beautiful. But completely aside from my own family, it’s painful for me that we can’t respect someone’s choice of how they want to be known.

I have a wonderful friend who was named MaryAnn at birth and who goes by Toni. This was never a problem for anyone. Toni, which spelled differently is certainly known as a male-gendered name. People have been doing this forever. It didn’t have to be an issue, but now the left has pushed this and the right has pushed back. Both sides have dug in.

Differing Perspectives about the Opening of the Poem

The first two lines of the poem brought about very different reactions from our staff:

Must a pronoun replace my name
When my name is no mistake, no shame?

Some felt it was a bold acknowledgement of the worth and dignity of someone’s name and a call to question why we need pronouns in the first place.

I, on the other hand, have to admit I struggled when I first read the same lines, because I know for many people their names are “mistakes”– they are either misgendered or their names don’t fit who they are. For others their names do cause shame. This is true for my eldest, who was misgendered at birth and has since chosen a new more suitable name which they love.

Bingham’s Call for a More Humanistic, Compassionate I/We for Peace and Acceptance

What we all agreed upon is that Bingham is trying to get us out of the confining boxes we’re in and expand our consciousness to a more human, respectful way of seeing each other. He is calling for us to re-look at the conventional, divisive pronouns and shift to a more inclusive “we,” reminding us that “We are in this together.”

And yes, we certainly are. Humans need to have a sense of belonging and community to live out fully who we are as individuals.

The Need for Pan-amor-icity, Loving One Another

I was struck by Bingham’s clarion call for love amongst all of us:

One might say pan-amor-icity is needed today:
Loving each other, global sisters and brothers.

I feel he is not just talking about the generic use of “love,” but is inviting us to live and love together in a new, more inclusive and welcoming way. This is not just Kumbaya, but an urgently needed way for us to move forward together.

Celebrating the Uniqueness of Each of Us