By Alliance President Terry Gips
One of the fastest ways to end Uncivil Wars might be to start with one word: gratitude.
Fortunately, we have a day set aside for just that. It’s called Thanksgiving, a day for being grateful for our life, family, friends, community, country and all of Creation.
But why does it get too often turned into a day of battles – from personalities and politics to opposing teams in football and heart attack-producing gluttony?
Does it have to be that way? Can we stop the Uncivil Wars in our homes, country and world? It may seem like a daunting task, but I’ll posit that there is a simple, powerful first step that is totally accessible for everyone and doesn’t require anything from anyone else – gratitude.
Gratitude as an Act of Transformation
Gratitude as a way of being can be one of the most transformative acts and daily practices for our way of being and the world. It offers a possibility when it seems like there is none.
It’s a choice that can literally alter our body’s chemistry and expand our consciousness to embody our ultimate oneness with all, shifting our perceptions of people from “others”, “them” and “enemies” to “we”, “us”, “sisters and brothers”, and “fellow holy beings.” It begins the process of healing from the innumerable wounds, sleights, scars and even traumas we’ve all encountered.
Let’s remember that even those we have been taught to hate and kill, who may be in the enemy’s foxhole, have families, hopes and dreams just like us. They have been sent by leaders who for whatever good or bad reason believed it was worth possibly sacrificing their lives for what they thought were justified reasons.
If only we could return to the Source, to remember the gift of Creation that we’ve all been given. We are united by all being children created in the image of God. We share a common, Holy bond and future. As the oft-recited prayer goes, Let peace begin with me.
Heroes and Sheroes Light the Way to Untold Gratitude
There are so many living examples of diverse people for whom we can be grateful because they go beyond boundaries and help us regain our sense of our common humanity.
Firefighters, police, doctors, nurses, and EMTs don’t ask about your political affiliation before saving your life. And neither do disaster workers or complete strangers who pull you out of a burning car.
Somehow we have a deep common bond. Let’s build on that.
I feel blessed to have had my life filled with so many heroes and sheroes (as Maya Angelou would say) who’ve enlightened me by their way of being, reminding me there is another possibility, a way of being truly human and always seeing others as fellow humans, despite our most strongly held political differences.
Even Politicians Can Express Gratitude and Make Us Grateful
In what is perhaps the most contentious, hazardous zone of our society – politics – I’ve had the privilege of working for three elected officials who fully embodied gratitude.
I served as an intern for US Rep Abner Mikva, a leading progressive Democratic Congressman from the Southside of Chicago. For his opposition to Saturday Night Specials – cheap, unregistered handguns used by gang bangers – he was featured on the cover of the NRA magazine with a gunsight on his head.
Despite his serving as the head of the progressive-leading Americans for Democratic Action, he was beloved by everyone on both sides of the aisle because he treated them with kindness and respect. He used his extraordinary humor to make everyone laugh and lighten up, yet never compromised his values. As one extremely conservative southern Republican Senator once told me, “I disagree with your boss on nearly everything, but he’s the nicest guy in the world.”
He carried that forward even when he got appointed as one of the three judges on the US Federal Appeals Court in DC, our nation’s second highest court. He served with ultra-conservative, infamous Republican Robert Bork. They disagreed on nearly every decision but became close friends who played tennis together once a week.
My dear friend, progressive Democratic US Sen Paul Wellstone from MN, was an incredible firebrand and outspoken advocate for the rights of working people, the oppressed and all those who were struggling. I believe he well could have become President if it were not for a tragic plane crash. He took lonely positions on war but built bridges across partisan divides whenever possible, including his signature achievement on getting insurance companies to cover mental health treatment.
Like Mikva, he used humor and a clear, unwavering set of values while always seeing political opponents as people with hopes and dreams with a shared destiny. For that he was also beloved across the political aisle with the likes of Newt Gingrich coming to his funeral.
And I served as a White House aide to President Jimmy Carter on both the Intergovernmental Relations and White House Emergency Energy teams. Even though I didn’t get to spend time with him other than sitting next to him during the White House screening of the original Aliens (which he laughed through continuously), his legendary kindness and gratitude for others was pretty constant.
My Own Daily Gratitude Practice
I believe that gratitude can actually shift our perception of reality. I’ve seen the difference it makes in my life. I find it’s easy to take 10-20 minutes at the start of my day (true confessions: Lying down in my bed as the first thing I do) to meditate and pray. Here are the eight practices that begin my day:
- I say the Shema, the short, simple Jewish three-times/day prayer of gratitude to God for presence and oneness: Hear O’ Israel, Adonai, you are our God, You are One.
- I express gratitude and create space for the Shekhinah, the female essence of God who we welcome during the sacred Sabbath time of peace.
- I express thanks for a dear friend who passed a long time ago but still is a profound, inspiring and ongoing gift in my life.
- I say a prayer from the Morning Blessings expressing gratitude to God: Elohai Neshamah Shenatah Tah Bi, “Adonai, the soul you have given me is pure.” It’s a reminder that we can start every day with a clean, pure slate.
- I say the Morning Blessing thanking God for the openings and closings of our bodies. As sustainability leader and long-time colleague Paul Hawken pointed out, every nanosecond there are one septillion (that’s 1 with 24 zeros) cellular processes in our bodies, that’s 10 times more than all the stars we know in the universe. That is a miracle we can all be grateful for.
- I also acknowledge that if one of those does not open or close as intended, I will return to God.
- I embody the teaching of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, every moment we should be in a state of “Radical Amazement” about the gift of Creation.
- Finally, I enter into the Holy of Holies to be with God and absorb as much Divine energy as I can.
I find that simply experiencing each of these acts of gratitude has a transformative effect on me and my day, something I then try to share and radiate.
In fact, Judaism has a prayer of blessing and gratitude for nearly everything we do that we’re supposed to say during the day, with at least 100 considered normal.
An Annual Thanksgiving to Remember: The Downtown Clergy Thanksgiving Day Interfaith Service
One of my Thanksgiving highlights is to attend the annual Minneapolis Downtown Clergy Thanksgiving Day Interfaith Service. I’m uplifted and renewed to come together with so many diverse people to share a common sense of gratitude.
You can join us in person this year for the 10 to 11 am CST Service at the Basilica of St. Mary or you can watch the livestream at mary.org
Let Gratitude Reign, Feed Our Brain…Gratitude
Yes, let’s fill ourselves with gratitude and expand our positive neural pathways. We’ll feel better and live longer, while opening the possibility for transformation and ending Uncivil Wars.