By Alliance Communications Coordinator Amy Durr
Our political divide feels like the Grand Canyon now — you can’t jump across it, can’t yell to someone on the other side, sometimes can’t even see them. Yet the voices continue to echo.
The numbers are stark: In 2022, 72% of Republicans and 63% of Democrats saw the other party as more immoral than other Americans. In 2016, those numbers were 47% and 35%. Americans increasingly see the country as more divided than at any time since the Civil War, according to Pew Research Center.
This breaks my heart wide open. I feel overwhelmed, hopeless. It’s like the Colorado River has overflowed its banks and filled the deep crevices of the Canyon with raging waters, continuing to widen the gap.
America hasn’t just lost its ability to agree — we’ve lost our “ability to hold space for one another, to empathize, to make time for connection, to care for one another, to be part of one another’s lives,” says author and researcher Mia Birdsong, who advocates for the strengthening of communities.
So how do we build bridges in such a hostile environment?
Braver Angels Want You to Join Them in Restoring Civic Trust
Braver Angels is trying to build these bridges. They bring people from opposite political sides into the same room and teach them how to actually talk to each other. They work in communities, institutions and around kitchen tables, rooted in the belief that respect and courage can heal our divides.
In the Braver Angels 2025 Convention recap video (see above), a participant shares, “We have gotten to a moment where we believe conflict can only be negative, and it’s just not true. What we have to do is work on showing young people and old people and everyone else that part of a healthy discourse and a healthy environment around politics is one that embraces conflict, but knows how to do it the right way.”
The video continues, “I think in today’s political climate it’s really easy for people to be pessimistic and discouraged. But the reality is the majority of Americans aren’t as divided as we think we are. Civil discourse is something that every single person should care about because it is the glue that holds our country together.”
A Braver Angels’ Key Insights on Reducing Toxic Polarization
I had the good fortune to have a conversation with Melinda Voss, one of two state co-chair coordinators for Minnesota Braver Angels. Interestingly, there are two blue-leaning chairs and two red-leaning chairs for each state, as well as for each local Alliance within the state.
Right at the beginning of the conversation, Voss reminded me of perhaps the most important point: “We’re not trying to get people to change their views or to convince or persuade them. What we’re about in Braver Angels is simply to bring people together so they can have conversations in such a way that everyone is heard and everyone can speak fully and freely without fear.”
She added, “We believe that creating these conditions and allowing for these respectful conversations will, in the end, help reduce the toxic polarization, the rancor that we are experiencing.”
Finding Common Ground in Braver Angels’ Workshops
I read about the Common Ground workshops on their website, and Voss helped me understand the take aways.
“We have an equal number of reds and blues (4 – 8 participants on each side) sit on a panel and go through a series of exercises in which they speak individually about their personal connection to a particular issue, such as immigration, and how they came to hold their points of view.”
“And then they separate, so the reds go in one corner, the blues go in the other corner, and they come up with values, concerns, and/or policy steps that they think the other side might agree to.”
“And then they come back together and we put those up. If any of the 12 panelists say, ‘Nope, I don’t go along with that point,’ it’s thrown out. And we end up with what we call points of agreement about the values, the concerns and the policy steps for, in this case, immigration.”
“We recently held two workshops in the Twin Cities East Metro. In the first one, we came up with 28 points of agreement, and in the second 21. The difference was the second time, we made a strong effort to pull in more conservatives who were less moderate.”
“These workshops invariably show everyone who attends that both sides actually hold a lot of the same values, have a lot of the same concerns and are willing to go along with the same policy steps.”
“This year, what we’re doing with these Common Ground Workshops on Immigration is we have a much more concerted effort and follow through. It’s called the Citizens Commission on Immigration. The plan calls for us to have a Common Ground Workshop on Immigration in each of the eight congressional districts and to involve the US Representatives in each congressional district.”
“The member of Congress will participate by helping us recruit people for the panel, then meet with the people who served on the panel after the workshop, when the panel members can present any points of agreement to their Representative.”
I got excited hearing about the additional steps of including US House members in the workshops, and giving them points of agreement to take back to Washington. To me, that’s a beautiful and inspiring example of what democracy in action can look like.
Learning How to Disagree Better Can Help Every Relationship
Voss also mentioned another workshop that Better Angels offers, called Disagreeing Better. I personally love a good workshop, and this one intrigued me. We got to talking about Bill Doherty, who is one of the co-founders of Braver Angels and the chief architect of their workshops. Doherty was a professor of family and marriage therapy at the University of Minnesota.
I’m a great believer in therapy, and we had a laugh together: “It’s very apropos, yes, a marriage therapist working on this. It always makes me laugh – this is exactly what we need. Let’s not get a divorce,” Voss said. And with states talking about seceding it’s true.
I’m Deeply Moved and Do Something Uncharacteristic
Directly after speaking with Melinda Voss, I signed up for the Braver Angels newsletter, looked up my local PA Alliance and signed up to attend their next member call in a couple of weeks.
I won’t lie – I hesitated first. I guard my email inbox from newsletters these days like a hippo protecting her young. And then I thought:
- Amy, you feel overwhelmed by the partisan divides in the US
- You often wonder how you can make a difference
- We all need to co-create the world we want for ourselves and our children
- To make change, we need to show up
And I gave them my email address as if I definitely didn’t have 4,000+ messages in my inbox waiting patiently for me.
Editor’s Note: Have you ever had an experience with Braver Angels or anything like it? What insights did you take away for overcoming our uncivil wars?